Love sucks
by Scetchbook123
Summary: When Nepeta get's yelled at by Karkat, Sollux comes to help her. But will he find out his own flushed feelings as well? Will they go un-returned thanks to the crabby troll? -Fast moving story but i didn't want to drag it out so suck it up-
1. Chapter 1: I think i like her

**Music in the future is NOT mine. If it was I would be bragging.**

I walk down the hall on the way to my room. Wait. What was that? I hear something...

I look at the door I just past. It's Nepeta's, and it's cracked open. I peek inside to see her hugging her knees. I can't tell what she's doing cause she's facing away, but her arm is moving.

I walk in, she doesn't seem to notice. I look over her shoulder so see a notebook resting against her legs and a pencil in her hand. A sketch of Karkat yelling some mean names at her. A green tear drips onto the page. "Uh Nepeta? Are you ok?" I ask. She turns her head to look at me. She looks heart broken. "Can I see that notebook?" I ask. She hands it over and stare at the ground while she waits for me to finish. I flip through it. It's like an event book or something. She has pictures of the thing that stood out the most that day. There are even dates in the corners. Shit. People ignoring her, Equius helping her, so many fucking sad moments. Mostly there is Karkat yelling or ignoring her. Being the ass hole he is. One of them is kinda like a comic.

1st piece "Nepeta what the fuck do you want?" while he is at a machine.

2nd piece "Just came to help out!" her smiling. "I don't need help from you. Go away."

3rd piece. her walking out, still smiling. "Hey Kk... Need some help?" Me passing her as I walk in. "Sure."

Fuck I remember that. I didn't know that's what happened.

4th piece, her sitting in the hall outside of that room. Crying silently

I can't believe all this. Why does she like him if he pushes her away like that?

I hand it back to her, but she still wont look at me. "I'm thorry." I say and squat down next to her.

"It's ok. Really.. I'm used to it..." She replies. "Nep..." I say. She turns away. She clearly wants me to leave, but.. I can't. I put an arm around her and hug her. I hear her let out a breath. "Thank you."

I don't understand how he can treat her that way. How she can stand it? "Nepeta. Why do you put up with it?" I ask. "Because... I love him. It never changes. Nothing I can do will make a difference on how I feel, or how he treats me. It hurts. But I fell in love with him from the start, with the good, and the bad." She says. She sounds so sincere "Why don't you tell someone about it at leatht?" I ask.

"If I told them how he treats me they might hate him." She answers. My eyes widen.

She acts like it's ok. She smiles around him no matter what. Never fights back. Hides her pain from everyone so they wont be mad at him. She is a fucking saint and he treats her like dirt! I can't let this one slide... I let go of her and stand up. "Sollux?" She asks. I grab the notebook and march out of the room and down the hall to his room. "Sollux don't!" She shouts behind me. I keep walking until I reach his room. I storm in. "Way to knock Sollux." He says. He is sitting in his desk chair, staring at his computer screen.

I spin the chair around. "The fuck?" She asks. "What the fuck ith wrong with you?!" I yell.

"Your the phyco here!" He yells back. I shove the notebook against his chest. "What's this?!" He asks. "Read it you mother fucker." I say. He glares at me then at what's behind me. I turn around to see Nepeta in the doorway with dry tears still on her face. "No! Give it back! He can't see it!" She yells and runs over. I block her by basically holding her in a hug, but only half of her is being blocked. The other half is reaching around me to try and get the book. "No!" She screams. She isn't fighting as hard as she could. "Sollux what the fuck did you do?!" He asks when he sees the tears streaming down her face. "It's not what I did ath hat. Read the god damn book." I reply. "No! Give it back!" She cries. I feel pretty horrible now. "He needth to read it Nep.." I say I pull her into a real hug. She stops fighting and goes kinda limp, I continue to hold her.

"Let'th go Nep. It will be ok now." I say and look back at him as I lead her out of the room. He sits there in shock with the book in his lap. "Why did you do that?" She asks. "He needth to know. If he doethn't know he can't fix it." I answer. "But.. He doesn't feel the same.. He is just going to think I'm pathetic now..." She says. "No he wont.. And if he metheth with you just tell me." I reply.

She nods and I rap an arm around her as we walk. "Can.. Can I stay with you for a while?" She asks. "Thure." I answer. We go to my room. I set up a pile of cousins on the ground and give her a blanket. She sits on the pile and wraps herself in the blanket. "Thank you Sollux." She says. I bring my husk top over and sit down next to her. "Do you want to watch a movie or thomething?" I ask.

"No, but could I listen to my playlist I made for... Well, times like this." She replies.

"Thure. Do you know how to get to it on my husktop instead of yours?" I ask. She nods and I hand the computer over to her. She gets to in in seconds. I didn't know she knew anything about computers.

She hits play and the songs begin. First it starts out sad, playing "I'm a ghost of a girl"

I sit back and zone out. I hear her softly singing the words as the tears come back. She sure mastered crying without the vocal effects of it. The second song it plays is "On my own" But she sings some things differently. She doesn't get far into it at all before I press pause. "You clearly know the wordth and changed thome to fit better. I want to hear you thing it." I say. She nods and looks nervous. But she sings none the less.

watch?v=nR3atfZfhWY

A bit more then half way through it the effects that come with crying, such as a shaky voice, kick it. She is loosing control of it.

By the time it reaches that point I hear footsteps outside my door. They stop there. If it isn't Kk I'm gonna be pissed at him. When she finishes singing she gets close to sobbing again. She continues to breath deeply until it fades. He knocks on the door, causing her to jump. I get up and open it enough that we can see each other clearly but I block her from his view. "Can I talk to her?" He asks. He has a firm grip on the book. "What about?" I ask. I have no intention of letting him hurt her.

"Sollux it's fine." She says. She sounds normal again. I let him in and look at her. She has wiped the tears from her face and is sitting up straight. She really got the hang of looking like she's ok.

I wait for her ok... She nods at me and I step out, shutting the door behind me.

= Be Nepeta

I turn to Karkitty and wait for him to start talking. I have a small smile of my face. I always have a smile when I talk to him, it's just how I am. He sits down in front of me and sighs. He hands me the book. "Listen. I know why the pictures in there are almost all about me." He says.

"Don't worry.. I know it's a one sided flush. I'm not expecting you to feel the same." I say and look down so he can't see the hurt in my eyes. I hold the smile the best I can. "That's good I guess. But. I've known how you feel for a while now. So it was pretty fucking shitty of me to treat you that way. I guess I thought that if I pushed you away more you would move on. So I'm sorry. But. How come you never showed this to anyone? Does Equius know? Wait, if he knew I would be murdered by now." He says. "If I showed people how mean you are to me, they would think your a jerk. I don't want anyone to hate you." I answer. I look at him and see his eyes widen. "You... They think I'm a jerk anyway." He says. "Only sometimes. We all know you mean well, and no one hates you. Your just annoying and rude and that stands out more. So you only get to see their reactions to that side of you. When your not around, or your being nice. That's when people are paying the most attention to your point." I explain. He looks shocked. "And don't worry about the book. It's no big deal." I continue. "No. It kinda is. You look at me like.. How do you look at me?" He asks. "I focus on the good rather then the bad. Your sweet, you mean well. You always care about how people feel, even if your not good at showing it. And you know what to do in every situation, even if your reactions are delayed, they are always the right ones." I answer. "Shit. I'm amazing in your eyes. That just makes it worse that I treated you like that. Fuck.. I'm sorry Nepeta. I wish I could return your feelings. I just can't." He says. I begin to tear up. He hunches over to see my face under my hair. "Shit Nep don't cry." He says and sits back up. "I'm sorry. I just.. Can't help it this time." I smile as I start to fully cry. "This time?" He asks and starts flipping through the book. "It's not in there." I say.

"Then explain please." He says, I can hear the panic in his voice. "I.. I don't let people see me cry. Not if it is caused by another person. I can't let them get hurt even if they hurt me. And with my group of friends they would be hurt." I explain. "Besides." I lift up my head. "Why cry when you can smile?" I ask and give him a big smile, *hic* Crap. I suck in the tears again. "Fuck Nep." He says and hugs me. I hug him back and close my eyes. "Thank you." I say softly. "Are you a fucking saint or something?" He asks. "No." I giggle and let him go. He keeps a hold of me. "If it makes you feel any better. I have never seen Sollux that concerned about someone." He whispers. My eyes widen and I blush slightly. Oh no! This isn't good! He lets go and stands up. He waves goodbye and leaves, Sollux quickly enters. "And?" He asks as he sits down. "He cleared everything up. And was nice about it." I say. I don't think I feel like crying anymore. "Good." He sighs. I can't stop wondering if he likes me now...

Oh god what do I do?!

= Be Sollux again

Glad it worked out... But.. There is something in the back of my head.. A feeling I can't shake...

I need to forget it though. "Could we watch a movie?" She asks. "Of coarthe." I answer.

She sets up some rom com that I don't know the name of. The only reason I didn't object is because of everything that happened tonight.


	2. Chapter 2: I think I like you to :3

I wake up to find her hugging my chest, my arm rapped around her. We fell asleep on the cousin pile.

I run my free hand through my hair. I lay still and wait for her to wake up... She is so piece full.

Her cat helmet fell off...

Now that she is laying still like that I can't help but think about how beautiful she is..

No Sollux! I have to stop thinking about her like that! If I fall for her it will be the awkward thing in the world, and she likes Karkat still so I have no chance anyway! Fuck! I shouldn't even be thinking it's possible! Fuck fuck fuck!... I stare at her and smile. She's so cute.. I brush some of her hair out of face and tuck it behind her ear. So cute... I lean closer to her the best I can and kiss the top of her head.

I continue to lay there for a while longer before she wakes up. My eyes are closed, I'm not going back to sleep but it's more relaxing this way. "Sollux?" She asks, rubbing her eyes. Shiiiiiit! Drowsy Nepeta is even cuter then sleeping Nepeta! Fuck! Get this shit out of your head!

"Uhhh, Sollux?" She asks. I freeze. I now realize, I have shaking my head with my hands griping my hair. "Are you ok?" She asks. "Uh, yeah. I'm good. Why-why wouldn't I be?" I reply.

"I don't know but you are acting weird." She says. Shit! "Yeah I just um. I didn't sleep too well outside of the pod and all." I try to cover my tracks. "Oh that's right! I furrgot you need to be in a pod to fix the voices!" She says. "Wait. You don't use a pod?" I ask. "No. I never had one." She answers. That's right, I didn't take a good look around her room so I just assumed she had one. But she lived in a cave before we all got stuck in this freak show building. "So. If you don't have a pod, don't you have nightmares?" I ask. She only now sits back and off of me. "Sometimes. It's not as bad as you would think. A few times a week I get them, but my ancestor didn't have many bad memories so I'm fine. But there are times I see her pain. Oh, sorry, you don't want to hear about that. Hehe!" She answers. "No, go ahead. I'll lithen." I reply. "Ok.. Well, she was in love with Karkat's ancestor, the sufferer. She not only had to watch him be tortured, but was then exiled for standing by the mutant. He tried to rebel against the hemospectrum, so because she was his matesprit, she had to suffer as well Just a different kind of suffering." She explains. Shit, that's kinda deep. And it means she is destined to love Karkat. But if that is something effecting her, then shouldn't he feel the same for her?

"Hmm... Wanna go get something to eat?" I ask. "Sure!" She answers and springs up. I stand up and we head to the kitchen to eat.

Naturally Karkat is there. Along with Tavros and Aradia.

She sits down at the table and I put some bread in the toaster. "Sup Kk." I say, leaning against the counter. "Hey Sol." He replies. We stare at each other, mine says "I am keeping a close fucking eye on you..." His says "I know something you don't know." We continue to stare until the toast pops out.

I grab a knife and some butter and set everything down on the table where I sit next to Nepeta.

I see Karkat chuckling. "What'th tho funny Kk?" I ask. "Oh nothing... What did you do last night Sollux?" He asks and turns his head sideways to glare at me with his stupid smirk.

"I think you know very well what I did. Or did you not thee me comforting the girl you rejected?" I reply. His smirk goes away and his glare turns into a hate filled one. He stands up and turns around.

"Is there something you want to say?" He asks. "There are plenty of thingth I want to thay!" I answer and stand up as well. "Go ahead. I'd love to hear this!" He says. We both clench our fists, from a viewer's standpoint we probably look like we are about to fight. "Pawlux, Karkitty, calm down." Nepeta says. We ignore her though. "Well for starterth how about your shitty way of treating people who want to help you. Or would you prefer Nepeta thpecific problemth?" I ask. "Me? Your a ass to everyone!" He replies. "Your way worse! Not only do you shove them away, you throw them in the dirt and kick them! Your a piece of shit!" I yell. "At least I know how I feel about everyone! You don't have a clue what your doing do you?!" He yells back. "What the fuck are you talking about now?!" I ask. "You know very well what I mean! Here Nepeta why don't I go and confront the mean guy for you? Do you need a hug? You can stay here with me." He mocks me. My eyes and fists start glowing. "Oh no! Glowing lights! Come at me!" He yells. Red surrounds him and he goes flying across the room and into the wall.

"Sollux stop!" Nepeta screams and grabs onto my shirt. I forgot there were other people in the room, I look at Aradia and Tavros who are staring at me. I drop him and look at Nepeta. "Don't fight..." She says softly. I look back at him and he is grabbing onto the counter to try and stand back up. Behind him there is a dent in the wall with cracks all over it. Shit. I turn back to Nepeta and hug her.

"I'm thorry..." I reply. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm such a stupid ass. Surely she knows now. On top of that I just blew my best friend into a fucking wall. What else could go wrong?!

"Sollux... Can I talk to you?" Her face still buried in my shirt, her question gets muffled by the fabric.

"Thure." I answer. She continues to cling to me as we walk out of the room.

"What ith it?" I ask. I know what it is though. I think I do at least. I just hope I'm wrong.

"Are you.. Er. Flushed, fur me?" She asks and starts blushing. Holy shit she is cute right now...

"Uh..." Fuck! I can't say anything! Not only is this the most embarrassing thing ever, but her cuteness is almost at maximum levels! Ugh. She looks up at me. Shiiiiiiiiiit! Cutest face. Ever.

"Oh! This isn't good at all! I don't know.. If.. But.." She whines. I think I'm snapping back to reality at least. She starts mumbling to herself, I think she is debating her feelings.

"Nep-" She wont stop talking. I bend down to be at eye height with her and put my hands on her shoulders. "Nep!" I yell. She stops and we stare at each other. Screw it! I pull her close and our lips meet. My face is getting flushed fast. I can feel the warmth of her blush, and within less then a minute of staying like this she kisses me back. Ok, now that shocked me. The feeling that she likes me back makes me want to fly.. She pulls back and grabs on to my forearms. "Uhh, Sollux!" She says.

Oh shit! I started hovering. Fucking glowy shit. "Shit, Um. Here." I say and straighten up so she can stand on my feet. "Your awesome." She giggles.


End file.
